Poems: Songs From the Raven’s Nest

Poems: Songs From the Raven’s Nest

Blasts From the Past

On the last weekend of July 2017, I made a promise to some of my readers that I would post some of the more angst ridden poetry from my past. So, digging into my vault, I decided to go with these.

Falling For A Friend

Why couldn’t I have fallen for a stranger
Someone I do not know
Why did I fall for someone I know so well
Someone I care about yet cannot be with
Why can’t I be the one to love her
And the one to be loved by her
We care about each other
Yet the passion I feel toward her is different
She makes me feel special and wanted
Yet I want her in a different way
Thinking that she would be perfect for me
Wondering if it would be a mistake to tell her how I feel
Wondering if it would be a bigger mistake not to tell her

This one will probably always hold a special place in my heart. It was about someone who was a very dear friend to me in college that I found myself falling in love with. The kicker was that she was dating a good friend of mine from high school. Both of them knew very well of my relationship struggles through that period of my life. Her compassion is what sparked that flame in me. Honestly, those feelings for her probably prevented me from making a lot of life mistakes in college. Finally letting go of that was one of the last pieces of the puzzle that led me to where I am now.

Finality

I entered, not knowing my fate
Ignorant of what awaited me
I turned at the sound of her voice
But alas, it was to another she spoke
At that moment, my heart betrayed my mind
Both heart and mind raced
My heart swelled, beating more intensely than ever before
My mind raced, searching for a place to hide
Where there was none
I knew not what to do
I turned away, as an ostrich hides its head in the sand
She never saw me, not that I was aware of
I watched as she walked out with him
My heart racing, longing for the companionship she once offered
I left, going the other direction, fleeing the life I had with her
For eternity, my heart raced, beating out of my chest
Maybe out of hope, or maybe desperation, I turned around
But alas, I found myself alone
Painfully, regretfully, I realized
That she is out of my life forever

So this was about my experience the first time seeing my high school girlfriend after we broke up. It was a nasty breakup that, I will be honest, all of the blame rested on my shoulders for due to my own immaturity. Looking back at this poem, half of what I thought when I wrote it ended up being dead wrong. All of the feelings were real, but not quite all of the facts. I wrote it thinking it was my first real anxiety attack, though in hindsight, I’d always had some level of anxiety and had experienced a few moments that reached high intensity. Also, because destiny decided to walk hand in hand with irony, she wouldn’t be out of my life forever, as we would later end up going two more rounds before finally throwing in the towel.

Wayne Cochran

Database Administrator, writer, social media evangelist, and occasional traveler, Wayne writes whatever comes into his head or touches his heart. His interests vary from IT to matters of the heart to the dream of a future beach life.

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